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Andrex: Not fit to wipe your a*** with, customers say

Patrick Christys
Feb 12, 2019

Andrex's new toilet roll isn't fit to wipe your a*** with, according to many customers.

A Spokesman Said has received in excess of 130 complaints about Andrex toilet roll, with many customers saying the toilet roll is so thin that it left them in a...sticky situation.

Just take the case of poor old Christine, who is so enraged that she's thinking of telling Andrex to bog off for good.

She told us: "Since changing your print from the insignia to the one that looks like dashed textured wallpaper.

"I literally can’t wipe my bottom with this stuff - it’s okay for wiping urine, but what seems to happen if you try to wipe your bottom, is the layers slip and separate, meaning I’m left with a little of the torn top layer attached to my bottom and nothing on the rest of the toilet paper.

"I don’t know if it is because the layers are much thinner now, or what, but it is literally not fit for purpose!"

And spare a thought for Jason, who says he's constantly left with a 'mucky finger' when using Andrex toilet roll.

He said: "Why is it that I used to buy Andrew a few years ago and it was the best toilet paper out there. Now I come to use the classic clean one...Yeah the bottom hole is clean because my finger keeps ripping through.

"Clean bottom mucky finger. NOT GOOD ANDREX NOT GOOD."

Peter had a similar issue: "Since you have amalgamated the layers into a single layer the paper has no structural strength.

"This results in fingers going through the paper and effectively substituting the hand for the toilet roll. This is as unsatisfactory as it is unhygienic."

These are just a few of the 130 complaints A Spokesman Said has received about the quality of Andrex's loo roll. 

A Spokesman Said has contacted Andrex for comment and is awaiting a reply.

If they don't act fast, the may loo-se customers forever.

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