Sky customers locked in never-ending cycle of misery if they try to leave
We're pouring one of the great international buckets over Sky.
The reason it's international is because if, like many, you want to cancel your Sky subscription as a result of their price hike, you get farmed out to a backstreet call centre in India to speak to someone called 'Stephen' about how to unsubscribe.
Last night one of our customers spent upwards of an hour, at your own expense, trying to navigate the treacle covered labyrinth that is Sky's exit pathway.
The multi-national behemoth is increasing TV, broadband and phone bills for millions of customers from April 1st.
So prices are rising by an average of 5.1%.
A price hike of 5.1% so I can watch Kay Burley in high definition? No thanks.
It's ironic that Sky have a campaign out against plastics in the ocean - let's hope Kay never goes swimming.
So there our customer is, thinking 'actually, I don't fancy paying through the nose to watch Kay Burley's face on my plasma telly, I quite fancy cancelling this subscription'.
They ring up, and are passed from pillar to post for an extortionate amount of time.
You ring up, and you have the dubious pleasure of listening to what sounds like elevator music from a hotel in early-1960's Cuba, before a robot (possibly Theresa May, we can't be sure), gives you a list of options.
This culminates in you speaking to a slightly less robotic man from what sounds like the Milton Keynes area who is trained in 50 different ways to make your life more difficult.
You get passed on to someone else who has obviously had the same training as the Milton Keynes chap before.
Then, like the last level on an old video game, you face 'the boss'.
'The boss', in this case, is someone on a different continent.
It's only after shouting at a man in India that, finally, you get to cancel your subscription.
But it can take 30 days to cancel, which is strange, because it doesn't take 30 days for them to contact you if you don't pay up one month because you've decided watching the Tour de France in high definition is not something your eyeballs can stomach.
Honestly, if I wanted to watch fast moving people in lycra at close quarters, I'd stand outside Waterloo station during rush hour as cyclists career through red lights on pedestrian crossings with a clear disregard for public safety.
Sky have to make it as easy to quit as they make it to join.
It's unacceptable that a consumer can decide they've had enough, more than enough, like a man on his eighth pint in Wetherspoons, and yet not be allowed to leave.
Can you imagine the Sky nightclub? 'Sorry, Sir, you can't leave with those trainers on.'
Sky is all too ready to take your money for its service, but it makes it as difficult as possible to leave.
Here's a word of advice: Make your content better and your prices cheaper and you wouldn't have more people queuing up to leave than Venezuela.
TV, broadband and phone bills increase from April 1, after the telecoms company announced that prices for each service would rise by an average 5.1pc, or around £1-2 per month.
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